I'm still feeling really low. Nothing is helping me to snap out of it this time. I even treated myself to a back massage this afternoon but I'm still just on the verge of tears all the time. My head feels so heavy and I'm doing things by rote rather than actually thinking about them. I'm not actually in my University town for the next week as my parents are away and I'm having to go home and cat sit for the week. Unfortunately I have to travel to university town for at least 2 days, one for a lecture and the other for a module review meeting. Both at 9am and 10am each morning! I would just really like a week away from the place entirely. I'm hoping to get some work done on the book but really I just want to keep my head above water and not do anything stupid.
My sleep is still prety bad, I've been awake since about 3am today and the same another night. I was even reading blogs then. I saw my GP again this morning (still haven't managed to confide in her about the self-harming) and she's happy for me to continue on the sleeping tablets so I at least get some sleep. I'm to go back again in another couple of weeks or so.
She also asked me to go in and speak to some medical students that she teaches during their musculoskeletal week. She says it will help them realise that it's not just their grandparents who suffer from problems like this and that it will help them realise how it affects younger peoples' lives. I did it once before and like Madsadgirl really enjoyed it. Apparently when she's talking to me she can tell that I do have a genuine interest (well, I am a wannbe medic). I'm willing to talk about anything to them, including the therapy, but just not the self-harming.
I was telling her that I had applied to be a layperson on the arc research committe. I submitted the application yesterday and the deadline is tomorrow and I really want to get on it. Everything is crossed. It was an odd application to write as in the cover letter I had to explain where my interest comes from, so I had to explain my medical history (very briefly), which is normally something I keep private until I'm offered a post!
I think it's time for a couple of tablets and bed.
1 comment:
I hope you manage to sleep a little better tonight. And I hope that you start to feel a little better soon too. After having been low with depression for so long to feel the way that I did this afternoon was absolutely incredible. I don't think that I have felt that good for years. In fact, I can't remember the last time that I felt like it. I hope that you manage to get some work done on the book over the next week so and that it will help to raise your spirits a little. I'm going to start doing some research for my book project tomorrow and will drop you an email to let you know how I am getting on.
Take care x.
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