Wobble

I'm having a real wobble right now.  I was trying to prepare a tutorial last night for this morning and just thought that I couldn't do it any longer.  I was going to phone and get an appointment with my GP just to speak to someone but I didn't do it.  It was just to speak to someone who knows what's been happening but what was she going to do for me?
I finished CBT 10 days ago.  Apparently there was meant to be a review appointment after a month or so but my therapist was leaving and so it won't happen.  She mentioned me perhaps seeing someone privately even if just to check in once a fortnight or once a month with someone to maintain contact but I'm not sure.  I said I'd see how things went over Christmas.  Part of it is just sheer exhaustion, but there's something more that I'm more that I can't identify and sometimes I just think that this is life, this is what I'll be like and that it's me. 

Busy times

I've been horribly busy for the last 2 weeks and there's no sign of it letting up.  I'm busy doing a book review for a friend that I've had for months.  I've also been asked to review a book manuscript for publication by a publisher.  It's due on Thursday and I haven't even started looking at it yet.  I think I'm going to have to ask for a few days etc.  Then next week I have to start preparing a new set of lectures for the following week.  I'm like a walking zombie these days: last Thursday I sleepwalked home and fell into bed at 4 and woke at 8.  I can't seem to get enough quality sleep and I'm exhausted on a daily basis. 

My blood tests for the methotrexate have been OK so far and I'm now down to monthly tests from fortnightly.  I feel slightly ill the day after I take it and can't eat breakfast and a bit nauseous on other days but nothing too severe.  I chopped my hair off because it was coming out in clumps but wasn't visibly thinning.  It's still shedding like crazy but because the hair isn't as long it doesn't look as bad. 

On the mood front I've been a bit up and down and teary as well.  I think work is getting to me and I'm trying not to let it.  I keep telling myself that there's only another few weeks to go and I can get through them.  But sometimes I think I can't and it scares me.

Calling all readers

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