... that things seem alright and then something happens, not even that important or life changing or threatening a thing, that switches on (or off) something and makes you feel like crap again? I'd had an ok-ish morning, been back to my GP, decided not to change the anti-depressant I'm currently taking, got told off for wearing heels in the snow(!), referred to the psychology department and made another appointment for 3 weeks time. I finally made it into work (if I hadn't had the appointment with my GP I wouldn't have left the flat) I was wet and cold but still feeling OK-ish and managed to send off a few emails: a proposal for a conference paper (to tick a box for my probationary requirements rather than actually wanting to present), my publisher to tell her THE BOOK wouldn't be done for 1 March and I found this and actually laughed out loud: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html.
I then went out to lunch and had a fair enough time. Got back to the office to get a text message from my so-called flat mate telling me she wouldn't be home as she was going back to boyf's place again this evening. I haven't seen her since Tuesday. I had texted yesterday to see if she fancied dinner somewhere as I had just got a copy of a book in which I have a chapter published and thought it would be nice to celebrate. But she was with him again.
I don't know why this bothers me so much, it's so difficult to put into words but he just seems to have pushed everyone out of her life and she just puts him first. I often wonder what she would think if she read this blog. If she knew (if anyone knew) how I feel and what I'm doing.
It's going to be tough going home tonight and not cutting myself.
1 comment:
Loved the letter to Richard Branson. I think that if that food had been served to me I would have been a bit upset too, and I wouldn't have been anywhere near as polite about it. I also happen to like Indian food and yet I can't say that I recognized any of that as being Indian food.
Congratulations on the chapter in the book. Now you just have to get your own book finished.
I know that it is disappointing that your flat-mate seems to spend so much time away, but don't let it make you do anything silly.
Thanks for the lovely comment to my post yesterday; I really appreciated it.
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