Wednesday 28 April 2010

STRESSED

Nothing more to add.

Tuesday 20 April 2010

So...

... I've been rejected from another programme I applied to.  Getting used to this really. 

I ended up applying for that job in New City.  I haven't heard anything yet but decided I would regret it if I didn't apply.  It's strange, I would almost prefer not to even get shortlisted so that I didn't have the stress of preparing for an interview, possibly getting the job and then trying to make a decision as to what to do.  It's not even that everything is going brilliantly at work now: I'm not getting to teach a new module because no new modules are running next year apparently.  This is in spite of the fact that the module was approved to run last year and that it would potentially encourage students to do a new PG programme that is starting.  I've also got a new admin post that I was asked to apply for: it's a huge role and will look great on my CV but I'm a bit worried that it will take up too much time. 

I think one of the reasons I'm a bit wary about a new job in New City is that I'll leaving my support network behind.  I don't mean that I have loads of friends who I confide in, but my family is near if I'm having a really bad time and need out, my GP is great and I have a couple of colleagues who are very supportive.  Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I'm feeling better than I was: not as sick anyway.  I lost over half a stone over Easter as a reuslt of whatever it was I had.  Still not 100% as my appetite isn't properly back yet (wouldn't mind if it stayed away for another stone's worth and took my sweet tooth with it forever).  I went to the doctor about it as I was worried it was the methotrexate causing it, but she doesn't think so.  If it interferes with my work I'm to phone and get a script for anti-sickness tablets.  I'd rather be signed off sick!

Thursday 8 April 2010

Another disappointment

I applied for a workshop at a major US university and just got turned down.  It does make me think if anything will actually work out for me as regards my research and my career.  I don't wish to be world renowned or make truckloads of money: I care too much about the students and teaching to be that, but I would like to get a break every now and again. 

Even my book isn't going well.  It was supposed to be published on the 15 March but nothing.  I was meant to get the final proofs three weeks ago but nothing.  I've emailed a number of times and either don't get a reply or get told it will be with me at the end of the week.  I was assured last week that the final proofs would be with me tomorrow at the latest, but I'm not holding out for that.  I'm just so sick of the whole process right now and will never recommend this publisher to anyone in the future. 

I've cut myself a couple of times as well and been feeling foul over the easter break: ill as well as depressed.  I'm still not 100% right but at least I've eaten some chocolate.