Calmer

I'm feeling a bit calmer about everything today: and I didn't go home last night and do anything stupid. I'm not sure if 'calmer' is the way to describe me, numb might be closer to the mark. I went into work today but only stayed a couple of hours and did some administration and then headed home with the intention of going to the gym but I was too tired and couldn't be bothered. So now I'm in front of the TV before going to the shower as I'm heading to a quiz tonight.
One of the other new people was in tears today. She says she's stressed because one of her articles she is working on isn't going well and she's got nothing to say in it. It's a problem most of us have, as well as the fear that we're going to run out of research ideas. She works harder than I do (wouldn't be hard) and I think that might be part of the problem. I've asked her along tonight but I'm not sure she'll come as she has to work.
One of the other new people also described me as incredibly organised and confident? I sometimes think I should have gone on stage with this persona I seem able to project. I just wish I could show the real me, the one who is self-harming, depressed, lonely, terrified, to someone so that I could stop feeling as if I have to keep up this impression of being wonderful.