Well, after flagging the salary issue (and the lack of PhD but everyone thinking he has one) last week, on Friday his website went live. And he was Dr. This pisses me off big time. I know it may sound silly but people with PhDs work long and hard to get them and it's a huge honour to finally be able to call yourself Dr. After all, we don't like it when complementary therapists use the title Dr when they have no medical training whatsoever, or when architectural technicians call themselves architects (my dad was an architect so I feel that only someone who has undertaken 6 years study and then the requisite training should be able to call themselves architect) it should be the same for PhDs.
Anyway, in the course of today his title was changed to Mr! Hurrah, success. Someone has realised and someone has acted. Wouldn't it be great now if I got shoved up an extra point in the salary scale now!
On the work and other fronts, things aren't so good. The prepping isn't going well at all and my mood isn't that great. My joints (not the artificial one) have been playing up with my knee swelling really badly and my wrists and elbows being sore. The knee will swell now every 8 days for 2/3 days and it will go on like this until it's injected with steroids. No real point in going to my GP with it as no one will want to inject it as it was only done in May before the hip replacement. I'm meant to rest when it's bad, but it's a bit hard to do when I'm working now and because it's so often and so regular I can't really be off or working from home on that regular a basis! I guess it's just something I'll have to factor in.

Prep time

Well, I had my meeting with the head of school. And I brought up the salaries. I told him I had agonised over whether or not to ask him about it but essentially I wanted to know for my own reference purposes. I phrased it along the lines of "how are salaries determined, as I discovered through the conversations of one of the other new people that I was getting the same salary as he was yet he had no PhD." Initially it was said that this guy had his viva very soon but I said no, he had yet to submit his PhD and hadn't the experience of teaching undergrads and postgrads that I had. The head of school realised who it was and said his name and I confirmed yes, but from that I assume that he too was under the assumption that the guy had his PhD. Essentially, I was told that HR decide the salaries and any new person starting out would start on the same salary unless the interview panel thought there were strong reasons for having a higher starting salary. All well and good but if the panel were misled as to someone's qualifications, how then are they to base a decision on whether to start someone higher up the salary scale? Anyway, it's said and done and I think I did it in a nice way so as not to get the head's back up.

One of the reasons I was adamant I wanted to say something is that I applied unsuccessfully for more than 50 jobs before getting one and got no job offers without my PhD so it does grate that this person appears to have lied and have got a job as the result of the lie. At the time of accepting the job I wasn't in a fit a state to bargain with them over salary as I was less than 2 weeks after my hip replacement and doped to the eyeballs on painkillers. I will know in future to ask for that little bit more if and when I change jobs!

Today I started looking at the textbooks of one of the subjects I'm teaching. I've never taught it before or even studied it, but I'm not unduly worried about it. I've decided most of this week will be given over to the teaching prep and getting to grips with the basics of it. Next Monday or Tuesday I will have another look at this damned book review and try and amend it as to their suggestions. Then I will finally get a look at my thesis and start preparing it as the book for next March! Things have started to get busy for me.

Absent

I've been absent again. Not really sure what I've been doing: not much I suppose, certainly not anything to blog about. It was my birthday last week so I went for cake and coffee with a couple of the other new people. I then met my mentor on Thursday to discuss my research plans for my 3 year probationary period. I get an amount of money in addition to my salary to spend on research purposes (books, travel, attendance at conferences, joining legal societies etc.) and in order to access it I have to fill in a form, get it approved by my mentor and the head of school and then it should be all systems go. Needless to say my mentor has only recently taken over so she didn't know about the form so I had to ask one of the other newbies who had already met with their mentor. I'm now having another meeting this week about the form. Already there's going to be a problem with speaking at conferences as my area of law is such where there aren't many calls for paper and instead you have to be invited to speak at them! Anyway, a proper discussion will be had this week.

On the book review topic, I finally got it finished and it was fairly crap; checked my email tonight and they want me to be a bit more critical in it so it's back to the drawing board with it, ARGH.

However, I do have a slight dilemma. I discovered, through one of the other newbie's instigation, that I am on the same salary as he is when he doesn't have a PhD and I do. Incidentally, he appears to have misled the law school as everyone is referring to him as Dr. I also have far more teaching experience than he has and have taught and led modules at undergrad and postgrad level. I mentioned it to the chair of my probationary committee who was on the interview panel and she couldn't believe it and suggested I bring it up with the head of school. She also thought, from the interview, that he had already got his PhD. Tomorrow I have a follow up meeting with the head of school to make sure that I have settled in OK and that everything is fine. I have settled, far better than I thought I would, and everyone has been helpful and very kind. However, I am disappointed over this salary business and a bit confused as to how it could have happened. I want to say to the head that everyone has been great but I was disappointed to discover that I had been started on the same salary as someone who had not yet submitted their PhD and who did not have the teaching experience that I had. Some people are saying I should leave it and not create hassle but my intention is not to create hassle just to understand the pay schemes!

Any suggestions or advice out there?

Wrong side of bed

All the newbies were having their photograph taken for the school website today so I washed my hair this morning in readiness. My hair is naturally wavy and if I try hard it can actually be curly although only for the one day. For some unfathomable reason, I decided to straighten it this morning. Disaster! I ended up putting it up with its usual clasp. However, it was not until I tried to put on my new shoes that I lost my temper. Because of the hip replacement it can be difficult for me to get buckles done or laces tied. I have no idea how long I sat before I managed it. This ended up upsetting me and so I arrived at the university in foul form, which continued throughout the final induction meeting, exacerbated because the chair was prone to ramble on far more than was necessary! I left as soon as it was over and the chair then arrived down at my office to ask me for a coffee tomorrow afternoon!

My mood has picked up now: the photo session went better than expected and we were able to choose the best of 4 photos and then had a nice lunch. Tonight's TV is reasonable (the Restaurant on BBC 2!) and I have got slightly further with my own work in that I have printed off a sample book review from the Journal website! Tiny steps and all that....

And again

Another day wasted. This is totally ridiculous. I'm feeling crap about myself because I've done nothing, yet I know I'll feel better about myself if I could do something but I can't be bothered to do anything! ARGH.
Tomorrow I have to be up at the university as it's another of the induction days: something to do with being introduced to undergrad and postgrad advisors. Then we get our mug shots taken for the school website and notice board. The embarrassment. Like most people I hate getting my photo taken!
To bed, for tomorrow is another day and hopefully a productive one!

Lazing around

I couldn't get motivated today at all. I decided to join the gym this morning and go for a swim and then go into the university at lunch time. Lunch time changed to after lunch and by the time I got up I browsed the net and turned and came home again! Apparently these next few weeks are when I should be getting on with my research so as not to fail my probationary period, but, in spite of having a couple of deadlines, I just cannot muster the interest.

Even joining the gym wasn't easy: I've been a student member of the same gym for the last 4 years. When I joined as a "proper" member I filled in another health questionnaire. The result of that is that I have to now go back to my GP and get her to sign and say I can exercise as I diclosed my hip replacement to them. Having only seen her last week I can't face going back again so soon. It sometimes gets embarrassing as I seem to go so often.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a bit more productive!

First week.

Well, the first week is over, the second about to begin. It was strange and I'm very glad that the week is over. I'm hoping to go in tomorrow and maybe actually get some work done on a review article I'm trying to write before the end of September.

I found the constant socialising with people to be quite difficult. By nature I am a bit of a loner and don't find making small talk that easy. It's actually completely stressful for me as my mind works overtime trying to think of the next thing to say so that the conversation flows, which of course means that it doesn't flow at all. So I'm having to fight a constant desire to run from the room to the safety of my own office where I can be alone. That always makes me feel so crap especially when I see everyone else chatting away and looking as if they have always belonged.

I've also stayed on the antidepressants for the time being. My GP said I would know when the time was right to stop them. She was delighted to see me walking so well and without my crutch: it's the first time she's ever seen me without it! It's strange though, I know the hip replacement was definitely the right thing to do, but every now again sheer panic hits me as I think of what I've done at my age and how's there's no going back to it. I've had a panic attack in the middle of the night because of it and only calmed down by practicing the deep breathing techniques from the CBT. I had started a diary when tlhe CBT ended but this blog seems to have taken over from it!

The one thing I didn't admit to my GP was the fact that I can't get thoughts of cutting myself out of my mind right now. So far I haven't acted on them and hope I won't ever again but because I never confided in anyone other than her and my therapist it means that I can't go to a friend and talk to them through it. I just never knew how to tell my friends and how to admit that I was having a bad time of it.

Second day

I got my staff card today: with the requisite hideous picture. It will never see the light of day hopefully.
And, happily for me, I am not in the research group A with all the idiots I can't be bothered with; instead I am in the group I want to be with my favourite person in the law school as chair of my probation committee.
One of the other girls who started with me is extremely confident: the complete opposite of me. She's the one who got the job as one of the reserve candidates. She makes me feel even more silly and stupid. But, I just have to keep reminding myself that I was a first choice candidate and she was not. I will make friends and settle in well but I do not need to be best buddies with everyone as she seems to want to be.

First day over!

Well, the first day is over and I'm sitting with a £1000 laptop on my knee, but I'll get to that!

It went OK. All the new people met with the Head of School and heard from him how wonderful we all are and how wonderful the university is. He told us about the areas of research and how there are 4 research groups and we would be a member of one. There's where my first dilemma lies. We have already been placed in a group and I suspect I am in group A where all the people are who I wish to avoid. Not only because I don't trust them (it's likely they would be my mentors and supervisory/probationary team) but I don't trust myself to go to them if I was having problems as I don't believe they would be very helpful. We can ask to change groups if we feel we are in the wrong group but how do I explain my reasons for this?
We then met the computer officer where we were asked did we want a laptop; 3 of us took her up on the offer and when we got these great laptops the other 2 wished that they had too! If I knew how to link to one on the internet I would!
My office is small but has everything I need: lots of shelves, which is the important thing. I just need a proper chair before I can do any work in it as I had this old wooden one and my back is already aching from sitting on it.
I had lots of coffee with the other new people and got a time tomorrow for my staff card to be printed out with my mug shot on. I also have to write a blurb about myself and I can't put forthcoming publications on it so it means I have none, which is pretty weak and embarrassing as everyone else does. I'll have to put in my blurb that I have a book contract for my thesis.
Later in the week we meet the directors of the research group and am worried about that: a bit scared they'll look at me as one of their students seeing as most of them will have taught me.
Off to bed now, thankfully the staff card is being done at 11am so not as early a rise as this morning.