Sunday 15 March 2009
Hate
I don't like my life, I don't like myself and I don't see what other people like in me. I'm a waste of space who is just taking up people's time and not giving anything in return. After speaking to the med students last Monday I have been on a downward spiral and still plummeting. Everything I do is an effort, I get no enjoyment from anything and I don't know if I want company or want to be alone. All I know is that I want to stay in bed and not get up. I don't think anyone would miss me that much, if at all. I got a letter from the Psychology department telling me to ring them if I want to go on their waiting list. I haven't done it yet. I'm just so tired and always seem to be moaning but never really saying anything. I'm not even making any sense to myself any more.
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4 comments:
I sympathise with you. After the adrenalin high from the lecture and seminar I descended into a depression at a phenomenal rate and for no apparent reason. I suppose it was a reaction from having steeled myself for my "performance" and to then return to my solitary and empty life was perhaps more than I could cope with.
I know that it is difficult but you really shouldn't look at yourself in such a critical way. I am absolutely certain that you have a lot to offer to a lot of people. It's just a case of learning to value yourself and therapy will no doubt help with that, so make that phone call, put it at the top of your 'to do' list for tomorrow.
I've only just seen this post so just to say I hope you're ok. Know that someone is thinking of you, and I happen to think you're great! Hugs BG x
Just stopping by to see how you are getting on? Hope mood has lifted a little by now. Hugs BG x
Although its not easy, it WILL get better. meanwhile take care and chin up!
p53 xoxo
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