Sunday, 25 January 2009
My appointment with my GP about the self-harming and some sort of counselling is tomorrow. I just don't know what to say or how to explain how I'm feeling to her. It's a problem I have: I cannot open up to people completely. I want to tell her that I don't like myself, that I don't like my life, that I feel like a complete fraud and shouldn't have got the job that I have, that I'm terrified of dying and my parents dying and that I feel completely useless and a failure. I am completely lacking in self confidence and I have no idea how to improve that. I should just give her the link to this page and then I wouldn't have to verbalise any of it.
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If you really think that you won't be able to talk to your GP, then print off a few of the things that you have written here to show her. I find it difficult to talk to people too, but I know that if I am not completely honest about how I am feeling and the thoughts that I have when I am talking to my GP and psychiatrist/psychotherapist then I am never going to get the help and support that I need. It may be difficult, but you have to make that effort.
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