Saturday, 13 November 2010
What do you do, who do you turn to?
Having had a weigh in and lost no weight I started a downward spiral. I've drunk a lot of wine, I've not slept, I'm thinking if cutting myself and I don't know who to turn to. I came down if the initial high of seeing dd and all the gym stuff but I seem to have plummeted big time. I don't know who to talk to, who to see, who to confide in or who to attempt to tell how I'm feeling. I don't think I even know how I'm feeling myself right now. The urge to cut is so strong yet I know it's so wrong and would be taking a step back but the difference in my mood between a fortnight ago and now has scared me more than anything. I was doing so well I was prepared to come off the venlafaxine but now I just don't know. The sheer high from dd almost seems like mania compared to how I feel now. In 2 hours time I'm meant to be doing a fast walk but I don't know how as I've do many prescription drugs flowing through me! I'm feeling really desperate.
Sunday, 31 October 2010
The Shame - Part1
One of the things DD banned me from last week was alcohol: he also showed me the weight loss record of another client from July 2010. Banning alcohol doesn't really have that much effect on me because as methotrexate is toxic to organs, I'm not meant to drink at all, or certainly only small amounts occasionally. And the majority of the time I don't drink.
On Friday my research group went out for an Indian. We met in a pub beforehand and I was excellent, only having a sparkling water and lime. Journied on to the Indian where I ordered lamb garlic chilli and boiled rice (breaking red meat ban and carbs ban) and tucked into poppadums. I accepted one glass of wine. I was telling one of my colleagues about the diet sheet a personal trainer had given me (not mentioning that he was my personal trainer) and explaining 5 small meals a day, no carbs etc. I went on to say how he was built like a tank and drop dead gorgeous. Conversation continued on until someone got up from the table directly opposite me and I heard this voice: "Alhi, well hello!" Gulp, it was DD. I glanced at wine glass and looking like a rabbit caught in headlights said Hello as silence fell around my table and everyone stared at him. He said "I hope you have a packed lunch with you!" At which stage I mouthed "F*** off" and he disappeared to the toilet. I was mortified and could feel the colour rushing to my face. However, worse was to come.
On Friday my research group went out for an Indian. We met in a pub beforehand and I was excellent, only having a sparkling water and lime. Journied on to the Indian where I ordered lamb garlic chilli and boiled rice (breaking red meat ban and carbs ban) and tucked into poppadums. I accepted one glass of wine. I was telling one of my colleagues about the diet sheet a personal trainer had given me (not mentioning that he was my personal trainer) and explaining 5 small meals a day, no carbs etc. I went on to say how he was built like a tank and drop dead gorgeous. Conversation continued on until someone got up from the table directly opposite me and I heard this voice: "Alhi, well hello!" Gulp, it was DD. I glanced at wine glass and looking like a rabbit caught in headlights said Hello as silence fell around my table and everyone stared at him. He said "I hope you have a packed lunch with you!" At which stage I mouthed "F*** off" and he disappeared to the toilet. I was mortified and could feel the colour rushing to my face. However, worse was to come.
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
Chastised
And so, to prove that this blog will share the good and bad of the personal training and weight loss programme, I was seriously told off at today's session by DD. I lost no weight. He started by saying that he wasn't just about training that it was about major lifestyle changes. He even told me to look at him when he was talking as I was looking at the ground. I felt like a recalcitrant school girl who had been caught smoking or drinking on school grounds. He said that in the first six weeks the weight should be dropping off me. So, he's set a weight loss target of 4lb between today and next Tuesday. GULP. And if I thought he was mad today I'll see 4 times worse next week if I haven't lost the weight. And then the session started. It was back to the legs and it was longer and tougher than the first time. He did, however, admit that I was extremely strong and a lot fitter than he had thought and it was the swimming.
I have one day off between now and seeing him next Tuesday. On Saturday. But I'm going to have to swap the Sunday stuff for Sunday as I'm at home for my mum's birthday. And a strict diet between now and Tuesday. I'm exhausted. I was hoping for tomorrow as a rest day and I was going to rest and not even go for a swim.
I have one day off between now and seeing him next Tuesday. On Saturday. But I'm going to have to swap the Sunday stuff for Sunday as I'm at home for my mum's birthday. And a strict diet between now and Tuesday. I'm exhausted. I was hoping for tomorrow as a rest day and I was going to rest and not even go for a swim.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Life
And so, today it was the stomach and arms. First though it was the weigh in - I lost 2lb! I couldn't believe it: since the first weigh in I have eaten 4 cupcakes, 2 caramel squares and a caramel muffin: not good: far more than I normally eat of sweet stuff. So clearly the FBD is working. As of tomorrow though, it's working on the diet and exercise. DD gave me his diet sheet: I would definitely lose weight following it: 5 small meals a day with some of the meals comprising nuts, seeds, yoghurts: not stuff that I can like and actually stuff that makes me want to puke. So I'm going to essentially be cutting out the crap and eating sensibly. I'm to lose another 2lb by next Wednesday but I'd love to lose more. Tomorrow is rest day so I'm going to have a swim instead. Unfortunately I have to go Saturday and Sunday though:(
As for the stomach and arms, it was fairly tough. I made the mistake of saying that only my thighs were sore after last week and I could manage everything and then said I have a high pain threshold - well after having hip pain for so long, various other joints aching on a regular basis and a hip replacement, if I couldn't tolerate pain then I'd be pretty pathetic! Anyway, I think it is now his mission to make me feel serious pain (from my muscles being used!). I can feel my shoulders have been used but that's it. I love the weights work, could do without the treadmill. Sometimes though, I think that my arms bulk up fairly quickly, but I'm sure DD won't have me looking like a sumo wrestler.
He could only take me next Wednesday at 11.30 so I'm being naughty and cancelling my blood tests and asthma review. I'll make them for again though once I look at my diary and schedule in my appointments with DD. They're more important right now!
On other stuff, things continue as normal. Work is rubbish, the cuts are hitting higher education and we were told yesterday that the biggest expenditure in our department is salaries. So with the end of probation approaching I'm not holding out many hopes for actually being confirmed and progressing on. I also didn't get shortlisted for a job somewhere else that a friend did get shortlisted for, who hasn't yet got their PhD. I've asked for feedback but got some rubbish back so I asked for more, but no reply yet. I'm not letting it go and I told them I knew someone without a PhD had been shortlisted. It just really annoyed and upset me. I think it's lucky that I have DD and the gym to get rid of my frustration otherwise I'd be using other more harmful ways.
As for the stomach and arms, it was fairly tough. I made the mistake of saying that only my thighs were sore after last week and I could manage everything and then said I have a high pain threshold - well after having hip pain for so long, various other joints aching on a regular basis and a hip replacement, if I couldn't tolerate pain then I'd be pretty pathetic! Anyway, I think it is now his mission to make me feel serious pain (from my muscles being used!). I can feel my shoulders have been used but that's it. I love the weights work, could do without the treadmill. Sometimes though, I think that my arms bulk up fairly quickly, but I'm sure DD won't have me looking like a sumo wrestler.
He could only take me next Wednesday at 11.30 so I'm being naughty and cancelling my blood tests and asthma review. I'll make them for again though once I look at my diary and schedule in my appointments with DD. They're more important right now!
On other stuff, things continue as normal. Work is rubbish, the cuts are hitting higher education and we were told yesterday that the biggest expenditure in our department is salaries. So with the end of probation approaching I'm not holding out many hopes for actually being confirmed and progressing on. I also didn't get shortlisted for a job somewhere else that a friend did get shortlisted for, who hasn't yet got their PhD. I've asked for feedback but got some rubbish back so I asked for more, but no reply yet. I'm not letting it go and I told them I knew someone without a PhD had been shortlisted. It just really annoyed and upset me. I think it's lucky that I have DD and the gym to get rid of my frustration otherwise I'd be using other more harmful ways.
Monday, 18 October 2010
Jinx
Following on from Saturday's FBD and the disaster with the treadmill being in mph and not kph I went to my own gym today to do the FBD (and tomorrow and Wednesday). I'm meant to do 30 mins leading to 3km of varying inclines and distances. I followed DD's notes to the letter ... and ended up with 33 mins and 2.94km. I have no idea where I'm going wrong. I also skipped the stretches again. I know, I know, it's bad of me, but I hate doing them. I'll try and do most of them before bed tonight to make up for it. I think the FBD got slightly easier today from when I first did it: I could only manage 20 lengths after the first time but managed 40 lengths today. On the other hand that could be because I didn't do the stretches. Sigh.
I don't know if I mentioned I have a new admin role in my dpeartment. It's running a new personal tutor scheme essentially, but as all other schemes have slowly petered out (actually fairly quickly) it was a role that no one else would want. Anyway, so far it seems to be going ok (it involved designing a new framework) and tonight I got an email from a member staff saying I was doing a great job. It really is things like that that make all the difference.
Wish me luck for tomorrow's FBD and hopefully it will be 30mins this time!
I don't know if I mentioned I have a new admin role in my dpeartment. It's running a new personal tutor scheme essentially, but as all other schemes have slowly petered out (actually fairly quickly) it was a role that no one else would want. Anyway, so far it seems to be going ok (it involved designing a new framework) and tonight I got an email from a member staff saying I was doing a great job. It really is things like that that make all the difference.
Wish me luck for tomorrow's FBD and hopefully it will be 30mins this time!
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Round 2
So, round 2 with dishy Dave (DD) was on Friday. Hurting slightly more after that one. It was time to work on bum, thighs and shoulders. Apparently I am strong as well as flexible. Strange the things you learn:)
It was all about lunges and step-ups onto benches. I actually thought I couldn't do lunges or step ups but he has a rope type thing that helps stablise you. I still felt pretty unsafe doing the step ups! He warned me I would be sore on the Saturday but I was nowhere near as bad as I expected to be. My thighs were, and still are, the most painful, but my bum and shoulders are fine (must be the swimming). I had 'homework' to do yesterday: the dreaded treadmill workout. I was at home at my parents so had to go to the public gym there (actually state of the art). It was hilarious: first off, the treadmill was programmed to miles so I was working out the equivalent of 6km/hour in miles/hour and so on, for 30 mins! I walked for 1.8 miles which I think is equivalent to 3km? It was only when I finished did I work out you could change the programming to km/hour! Talk about feeling foolish. I will admit to not doing the stretches: I was slightly worried that if I lay down on the mat that I wouldn't be able to get up again!
Today then was rest day and then the next 3 days is the treadmill routine until I see him on Thursday. Treadmill routine is known as fat burning day (FBD). I have no idea if it's working as I've eaten like a pig for the last few days so not sure if I will meet my target of 3lb off by Thursday. Will keep plugging away though.
On Friday when I arrived home to do a quick clean before heading to the parental home. I had a leak in my en suite from the flat above. I had had a minor dripping leak when the shower was on in the flat above a few weeks ago but I reported it to the management company and it was fixed, or so I thought. It turns out that the owner of the flat refused to allow the janitor to fix the leak saying he would do it himself. Well, it's backfired on him as now there's a hole in my ceiling which will need fixed and he's going to be billed for it. As I put in a new en suite last year I want it back to looking perfect.
It was all about lunges and step-ups onto benches. I actually thought I couldn't do lunges or step ups but he has a rope type thing that helps stablise you. I still felt pretty unsafe doing the step ups! He warned me I would be sore on the Saturday but I was nowhere near as bad as I expected to be. My thighs were, and still are, the most painful, but my bum and shoulders are fine (must be the swimming). I had 'homework' to do yesterday: the dreaded treadmill workout. I was at home at my parents so had to go to the public gym there (actually state of the art). It was hilarious: first off, the treadmill was programmed to miles so I was working out the equivalent of 6km/hour in miles/hour and so on, for 30 mins! I walked for 1.8 miles which I think is equivalent to 3km? It was only when I finished did I work out you could change the programming to km/hour! Talk about feeling foolish. I will admit to not doing the stretches: I was slightly worried that if I lay down on the mat that I wouldn't be able to get up again!
Today then was rest day and then the next 3 days is the treadmill routine until I see him on Thursday. Treadmill routine is known as fat burning day (FBD). I have no idea if it's working as I've eaten like a pig for the last few days so not sure if I will meet my target of 3lb off by Thursday. Will keep plugging away though.
On Friday when I arrived home to do a quick clean before heading to the parental home. I had a leak in my en suite from the flat above. I had had a minor dripping leak when the shower was on in the flat above a few weeks ago but I reported it to the management company and it was fixed, or so I thought. It turns out that the owner of the flat refused to allow the janitor to fix the leak saying he would do it himself. Well, it's backfired on him as now there's a hole in my ceiling which will need fixed and he's going to be billed for it. As I put in a new en suite last year I want it back to looking perfect.
Thursday, 14 October 2010
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
First session
OMG that was tough. I was sweating before I even started out of nerves alone! And then the stretches(!) really killed me. Which is strange because I was actually very flexible (surprisingly). So flexible that I couldn't fell any strecth in my hamstrings no matter what he had me do (before the hip went bad on me I could put my hands flat on the floor without bending my knees). The worst one were the abdominal crunch type things: I have no stomach muscles. The rest of my muscles keep me upright. Once the strecthes were done it was on to the treadmill. Have I ever said how much I hate the treadmill? Well I do. Half an hour on that at an average speed of 6km/h and an incline. I surprised myself on that actually: at one point I did say that I didn't think I could go on but I think he pushed another 15 mins out of me to make it 30 mins in total. I did think at one point that I was going to be sick as I went really cold (with the sweat pouring off me!). When I finally got off the torture machine I was weak and staggering, but I managed to walk to work, which was probably the best thing as it meant I didn't go home and collapse and potentially stiffen up. I made into the pool for 20 lengths after the session, but I normally do 60 if I've been in the gym (or rather my idea of being in the gym!) so that showed how hard I'd been worked.
Unfortunately, I went to the gym with no food for afters so I went into Tesco and bought a sandwich (not bad) and maltesers for tonight and the TV. Argh. Next session is on Friday and I will be prepared with some healthy snack upon finishing.
I weigh 15 stone and he wants me to lose 3lb by this time next week, so encouraging words please!
Tomorrow is my heavy teaching day and my office hours and I've a shed load of stuff to do, so here's hoping I don't wake up as stiff as a board.
There's a measles outbreak where I live and now I'm petrified after chickenpox in the summer that I'll catch it! Must check on t'interweb and see what methotrexate does to it.
Unfortunately, I went to the gym with no food for afters so I went into Tesco and bought a sandwich (not bad) and maltesers for tonight and the TV. Argh. Next session is on Friday and I will be prepared with some healthy snack upon finishing.
I weigh 15 stone and he wants me to lose 3lb by this time next week, so encouraging words please!
Tomorrow is my heavy teaching day and my office hours and I've a shed load of stuff to do, so here's hoping I don't wake up as stiff as a board.
There's a measles outbreak where I live and now I'm petrified after chickenpox in the summer that I'll catch it! Must check on t'interweb and see what methotrexate does to it.
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Personal trainer
And so, I met with dishy Dave today. It was just an introductory meeting, what did I want from it, short, medium, longterm goals. So short term goal is to lose weight, medium term is to run a leg of a marathon (if that's wise given the hip) and long term is next September to walk into the department and have people ask who's that! It's going to be hardcore, DD is hardcore, but it's what I want as I want to be slim, fit, healthy, feel more confident, have a higher self-esteem and just feel good about myself. So, I'm in it for the long run (no pun intended). I'm going to be completely broke, especially as I need new trainers and the actual training is going to cost me £35 a go and I'm seeing DD twice each week for the next two weeks. But it WILL be worth it.
I went to the asthma nurse and have to take my peak flow readings morning and evening for the next 3 weeks. It was still 350 today, so lower than the 465 it should be, sounds significantly lower to me. It will be interesting to see what it's like over the next few weeks.
Work is hectic: I have a new admin role running a personal tutor system and I'm not sure how it's working. As usual some members of staff refuse to do it, so our head of education is telling the head of school but I'm not convinced the head will do anything which means that a number of students will not have a personal tutor. And potentially means I'll be taking up the shortfall.
I went to the asthma nurse and have to take my peak flow readings morning and evening for the next 3 weeks. It was still 350 today, so lower than the 465 it should be, sounds significantly lower to me. It will be interesting to see what it's like over the next few weeks.
Work is hectic: I have a new admin role running a personal tutor system and I'm not sure how it's working. As usual some members of staff refuse to do it, so our head of education is telling the head of school but I'm not convinced the head will do anything which means that a number of students will not have a personal tutor. And potentially means I'll be taking up the shortfall.
Monday, 4 October 2010
So
Switzerland was fab, so fab I went back to Geneva for a long weekend over my birthday:) I had a chest infection at the end of August and coughed until I got to Geneva: that's how clean the air is. Everything about the country is amazing: the mountains, the people, the scenery, the watches, the chocolate:) Unfortunately the chocolate was too nice and I did nothing but eat it. Weight is all back and on and more.
The chest infection has left my breathing not quite right - I know because I swim so much and I can't swim as far without having to breathe. I went back to my GP who thinks I may have slight asthma. Unfortunately she had to weigh me to work out what my peak flow should be:( I'm seriously obese - 15 stone. My peak flow should be about 465, it's 350. So I'm back to the asthma nurse on Wednesday for further tests. Then we had a chat about my weight. I did say that I'd been trying to lose it with weightwatchers but my heart hasn't been in it. And I'm starting a personal trainer on Wednesday. She said I could take in a food diary to her if I wanted to but I don't know. I may leave it for a bit. At the same time I wonder if it would be nice to just discuss it with someone. WW doesn't really allow for that.
Unfortunately because of my weight, next time I get my bloods done she wants me to have a diabetes check, cholestorel and thyroid:( I don't want to know my cholesterol levels. I'm thinking I may forget the next time at the end of October and maybe do it at the end of November... then this afternoon I got a phone call from the receptionist saying that next time I get my bloods done I have to get my B12 levels done too - no idea why: it must be something to do with the methotrextate but there's not overly much information on the internet.
Today I've gone cold turkey on the chocolate and sweets. I'm hoping to manage it for a week. Hopefully WW on Thursday night. Weekends are always bad. I want to lose weight so much. My GP is right, it will be better for my joints, my health, my peak flow, my heart, my self-esteem and my confidence. It may even help my depression which is rearing its ugly head right now. I can't get thoughts of razor blades and cutting myself out of my head.
The chest infection has left my breathing not quite right - I know because I swim so much and I can't swim as far without having to breathe. I went back to my GP who thinks I may have slight asthma. Unfortunately she had to weigh me to work out what my peak flow should be:( I'm seriously obese - 15 stone. My peak flow should be about 465, it's 350. So I'm back to the asthma nurse on Wednesday for further tests. Then we had a chat about my weight. I did say that I'd been trying to lose it with weightwatchers but my heart hasn't been in it. And I'm starting a personal trainer on Wednesday. She said I could take in a food diary to her if I wanted to but I don't know. I may leave it for a bit. At the same time I wonder if it would be nice to just discuss it with someone. WW doesn't really allow for that.
Unfortunately because of my weight, next time I get my bloods done she wants me to have a diabetes check, cholestorel and thyroid:( I don't want to know my cholesterol levels. I'm thinking I may forget the next time at the end of October and maybe do it at the end of November... then this afternoon I got a phone call from the receptionist saying that next time I get my bloods done I have to get my B12 levels done too - no idea why: it must be something to do with the methotrextate but there's not overly much information on the internet.
Today I've gone cold turkey on the chocolate and sweets. I'm hoping to manage it for a week. Hopefully WW on Thursday night. Weekends are always bad. I want to lose weight so much. My GP is right, it will be better for my joints, my health, my peak flow, my heart, my self-esteem and my confidence. It may even help my depression which is rearing its ugly head right now. I can't get thoughts of razor blades and cutting myself out of my head.
Sunday, 15 August 2010
checking in
It's been over 2 months since I posted so just a quick one to check in with everyone and say that I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth.
Chicken pox was NOT nice at all: I was covered in them. I read somewhere that the average number of spots is 200 but I had 200 on every limb and still have the marks to prove it. I had a ridiculously high temperature for a week or so and didn't budge from my bed for over a week: too weak. I lost a stone (now back on:() as I wasn't eating. At one point I was dehydrated. I went home to my parents and honestly believe that if I hadn't I would definitely had been in hospital, if not dead. I ended up off work for 6 weeks and really could have taken more as I still get exhausted very easily. I'm back at work 3 weeks and have spent every Thursday in bed as I was so tired. I'm off now for 2 weeks holidays, so hopefully they will revive me as I'm off to Switzerland: land of convalesence!
I was back at work all of 2 hours before my blood pressure rose and I felt like screaming. Just the utter discrimination of the place: someone getting proposed for accelerated probation for really no good reason and there's a possibility of me failing it (my probationary committee are saying this) as my teaching and admin are excellent but research may be thought of as lacking by the central university when the time comes. I got upset, but right now, frankly I don't care. Probationary isn't just about me being good enough for the university, it's about the university being good enough for me. So, if, this time next year, I fail then I will be sitting back and considering whether I want to stay in the university.
On other news, my book is finally published! I'm in the middle of posting copies to various people who deserve a free one. Just so relieved to have it out. I haven't even really told anyone in the department as they'll only want to know when the next one will be out rather than congratulating me. And there will be no book launch. Or if there is, the author won't be at it.
I've had a friend staying with me for the last week. I met her on an erasmus year abroad and hadn't seen her in 10 years: exhausted from the sightseeing and feeling slightly guilty that I didn't go out drinking in the evenings and show her the nightlife, but I didn't have the energy. As it stood, I left her up most nights and went to bed!
Chicken pox was NOT nice at all: I was covered in them. I read somewhere that the average number of spots is 200 but I had 200 on every limb and still have the marks to prove it. I had a ridiculously high temperature for a week or so and didn't budge from my bed for over a week: too weak. I lost a stone (now back on:() as I wasn't eating. At one point I was dehydrated. I went home to my parents and honestly believe that if I hadn't I would definitely had been in hospital, if not dead. I ended up off work for 6 weeks and really could have taken more as I still get exhausted very easily. I'm back at work 3 weeks and have spent every Thursday in bed as I was so tired. I'm off now for 2 weeks holidays, so hopefully they will revive me as I'm off to Switzerland: land of convalesence!
I was back at work all of 2 hours before my blood pressure rose and I felt like screaming. Just the utter discrimination of the place: someone getting proposed for accelerated probation for really no good reason and there's a possibility of me failing it (my probationary committee are saying this) as my teaching and admin are excellent but research may be thought of as lacking by the central university when the time comes. I got upset, but right now, frankly I don't care. Probationary isn't just about me being good enough for the university, it's about the university being good enough for me. So, if, this time next year, I fail then I will be sitting back and considering whether I want to stay in the university.
On other news, my book is finally published! I'm in the middle of posting copies to various people who deserve a free one. Just so relieved to have it out. I haven't even really told anyone in the department as they'll only want to know when the next one will be out rather than congratulating me. And there will be no book launch. Or if there is, the author won't be at it.
I've had a friend staying with me for the last week. I met her on an erasmus year abroad and hadn't seen her in 10 years: exhausted from the sightseeing and feeling slightly guilty that I didn't go out drinking in the evenings and show her the nightlife, but I didn't have the energy. As it stood, I left her up most nights and went to bed!
Sunday, 13 June 2010
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Cat II
He's home! He was trapped in the roofspace of an empty house behind us. So relieved. Going for a nap now as I've scarcely slept since he went missing.
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
Monday, 7 June 2010
Last week
I didn't make it to WW last week and so didn't post my new weight. On Monday my parents went off on a city break arriving at 9pm that night. On Tuesday morning I got a phone call from my cousin's husband saying that her brother (my cousin) had committed suicide. I had to phone mum and dad and tell them. The immediate family were adamant that they weren't to come home so they didn't. The funeral was last week as well so I didn't make it back to university town to go to WW. I doubt I would have lost anything as I've been eating like a pig, and not a good pig.
It's strange the whole thing is preying much more on my mind now than last week. I can't stop thinking about him and what he did. And the thoughts are scaring me. The whole family is devastated, no note and left wondering why, especially as they all saw him in the previous two days and he was laughing and talking about what he was going to do the next day. They wonder was he looking to be found before dying as it was out in the open so to speak. But you can't wonder why, because sometimes there is no why and there just is. And I wish there wasn't.
It's strange the whole thing is preying much more on my mind now than last week. I can't stop thinking about him and what he did. And the thoughts are scaring me. The whole family is devastated, no note and left wondering why, especially as they all saw him in the previous two days and he was laughing and talking about what he was going to do the next day. They wonder was he looking to be found before dying as it was out in the open so to speak. But you can't wonder why, because sometimes there is no why and there just is. And I wish there wasn't.
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Weight Loss - week 1
Yo! Lost 1.5lb: ovet the moon as no real change made to diet but have hit the gym again and slowly working it up to 45 mins cardio in gym and then a km swim. Once I've built up some sort of fitness and hopefully lost a few more pounds I hope to pluck up the courage to hire a personal trainer. GULP.
More later, marking to do, but:
Weight 14 ston2 11lb, weight loss 1.5lb:)
More later, marking to do, but:
Weight 14 ston2 11lb, weight loss 1.5lb:)
Monday, 17 May 2010
Slowly going mental
You know I like students and I enjoy the contact with them, but this practice exam question marking is driving me up the walls. I've been at it since around noon with a half hour break for lunch (to watch Drs) and I've only managed ten. I want to go to the gym after tea so I at least leave the house today and to attempt to get the old weight lower on Thursday but at this rate I'll only be half way through the 30 I have to mark (managed to do none over the weekend - was exhausted). I told them they would have them back by tonight at the latest but I don't want to be sitting up all night at them. Incidentally the 30 I have to mark does not include the latest 10 I got sent over the weekend! In one way it's great to see time being spent doing this, in another way I'm feeling a bit put upon that the other lecturer on the course has hardly any stuff to mark because he has gone through no questions and has given no indication as to what could be on the exam. I, on the other hand, have gone through past papers. The students are grateful though: it's just a pity that the gratefulness doesn't translate into a few thank you cards that I could show to my probation panel! A couple of boxes of chocs would be cool as well. No! They wouldn't! Devil, get behind me!
Still no word from university in New City: a lesson in doing a bit more prep for an interview. There's always next time round but it would have been so nice to get this job even if I turned it down. Did I mention that my external examiner for my module at my current university was on the panel and he was hot! Very easy on the eye. And so unlike his photo on the website! Definitely more talent there than my current place, sigh.
Still no word from university in New City: a lesson in doing a bit more prep for an interview. There's always next time round but it would have been so nice to get this job even if I turned it down. Did I mention that my external examiner for my module at my current university was on the panel and he was hot! Very easy on the eye. And so unlike his photo on the website! Definitely more talent there than my current place, sigh.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
stressing out.
I've been absent again because I've been so bloody busy and stressing out. We are coming up to exam period at my university and with it the attendant panicked students. On my desk I currently have 30 past paper questions to mark and give feedback on which will take me all weekend to do.
I had a few days annual leave earlier this week as I go shortlisted for the job in New City and stayed on a couple of days. I haven't heard anything yet so don't think I've got it. Bit disappointed but it may be for the best. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I love the city, I know I would be happy there but the teaching methods in the law school are completely alien to me and I'm not sure I would suit them. Not getting it would mean that I wouldn't have a decision to make and would make my mum happy. She's already asked me if I'm going to just receive the rejection letter now and can barely keep the glee out of her voice.
I found a new blog a while back: someone is blogging their weight loss. So, seeing as I'm not happy with my weight at all and have been trying and failing to lose weight for quite a while now, I'm going to put my weight where my blog is. I'm going to weightwatchers but now, once a week, I'm putting my new (hopefully lower) weight online here so I'm accountable to you lot out there who read this. So, wish me luck, encourage me and send me some virtual chocolate please!
Here goes:
14 stone 12.5lb
I had a few days annual leave earlier this week as I go shortlisted for the job in New City and stayed on a couple of days. I haven't heard anything yet so don't think I've got it. Bit disappointed but it may be for the best. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I love the city, I know I would be happy there but the teaching methods in the law school are completely alien to me and I'm not sure I would suit them. Not getting it would mean that I wouldn't have a decision to make and would make my mum happy. She's already asked me if I'm going to just receive the rejection letter now and can barely keep the glee out of her voice.
I found a new blog a while back: someone is blogging their weight loss. So, seeing as I'm not happy with my weight at all and have been trying and failing to lose weight for quite a while now, I'm going to put my weight where my blog is. I'm going to weightwatchers but now, once a week, I'm putting my new (hopefully lower) weight online here so I'm accountable to you lot out there who read this. So, wish me luck, encourage me and send me some virtual chocolate please!
Here goes:
14 stone 12.5lb
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
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